Risk Management Humor
Risk Management is serious work, and nobody takes it more seriously than Risk Mitigation Associates. Nevertheless, occasionally in managing risks on projects - as in all other human endeavors - things will happen that make even the most serious practitioners sit back and laugh. Here are a few stories from our experience. We welcome additional stories from our clients.
To Work Or Not To Work
A large aerospace company had a multi-million dollar satellite program on which they were updating their schedule almost constantly as work was being completed, and briefing the program manager on the updated schedule weekly. For a period of several weeks, because of a series of problems encountered on the program, each of the weekly schedule updates showed that the delivery date had slipped by two weeks or more. This prompted the interesting observation that the program would actually be completed earlier if they stopped working.
What Is RORM?
At a recent conference that Bill attended, one of the presenters related a story in which he was asked by a client what he could expect as a return on risk management (RORM?). Without a pause the presenter replied, "Twelve-and-a-half to one."
"Where did you get that figure?" the client asked.
"I simply took an average of two well-known cases," the presenter explained, "'A stitch in time saves nine', and 'An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure'."
Sure, It Mitigates The Risk, But Is It Practical?
In a Risk Management course that Bill recently taught, the students were asked to describe a risky situation that they had encountered, and then to describe their response to that risk. When the students finished, they asked Bill if he'd done anything risky recently. Having injured his knee two months earlier, he said that his riskiest recent undertaking was to start running again. His response to that risk was to bring Khaleel along to run with him; that way, if he injured his knee again, at least he would have a way to get back home.
What's The Riskiest Thing You've Ever Done?
When Bill teaches a Risk Management course, he begins by asking the students to tell the rest of the class the riskiest thing they've ever done, or, at least, the riskiest thing they don't mind sharing with everyone. Amongst the things enumerated by his students are:
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Driving the 405 freeway to work
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Managing his own 401(k) account
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Being a paratrooper in Viet Nam
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Having children
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Walking up a staircase on the side of a mountain
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Buying a house she couldn't afford
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Getting married (mentioned by several students, of both sexes)
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Driving across the country
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Jumping from an airplane
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Flying to New York City to teach math to high school students
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Playing lacrosse
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Racing dirt bikes
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Graduating college, getting married, moving across the country and getting a new job, all within a three-month period
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Horseback riding alone
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Driving to Florida at over 100 mph in a convertable with too many people in it
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Taking a new job with an old boss he disliked
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Sassing back to his mom